


Good Bye John

by SherCaan



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Post-Reichenbach, Reichenbach Falls, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 22:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3587109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherCaan/pseuds/SherCaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>OS Post-Reichenbach Death Character; John's point of vue after Sherlock's suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Bye John

It has been three or maybe four or five months since Sherlock had killed himself by jumping from the St Bart's roof. John's stopped counting as the only thing he can remember is his dead body on the floor and his last words. His flat mate, best friend, or the man he secretly loved.

John has always loved this pretty attractive and heart-less man but was too scared about the fact he'd reject him because " _sentiment is a chemical effect found on the losing side_ " isn't it? Despite that John loved him. Even though he had girlfriends, he had always hoped of making his flat mate jealous or forgetting his feelings for him. But nothing had ever happened…

And now, he is alone in Baker Street, staring at this empty armchair which was Sherlock's. More lonely than ever. Although Lestrade called once a week to make sure he's still ok. Oh dear world, how can he be alright?

John has lost around 1.5 stones since yet doesn't feel alarmed how unhealthy his habits are. He doesn't sleep properly any more. His dreams are haunted by this tragedy that definitely destroyed him. And every time he would close his eyes, he'd see Sherlock and how stupid he had been to not see this coming. He could have stopped it and helped him. He had already proved it but Sherlock didn't trust did he? Anyway it was too late. Sherlock is dead and John is alone with his depression. To himself, John isn't living any more. He is just breathing dead soul praying for his own death day after day, nightmares after nightmares.

_"I created Moriarty for my own purposes"_.

John stood up and took a deep breath. Pain. Too much pain for one person. He sighed and walked to the kitchen and took a knife, the sharpest one he owned and went to the bathroom.

_"Nobody could be that clever"._

Now, he started crying and sobbing, wondering why Sherlock left him alone. He was so lonely. Anger. He undressed himself and turned the tap on. Cold or hot water, it doesn't matter anymore does it?

_"It's a trick, just a magic trick"._

John went into the bath. Cold but however, it was going to cold soon. He tried to relax but had no success. All his memories were back in his mind for one more time, like a magic trick.

_"Stay exactly where you are don't move, keep your eyes fixed on me"._

He was back there. In front of the roof with his phone in his hand, imagining he would have been there earlier to help his best friend he loved way too much. He could see Sherlock. Sherlock with his cheekbones, his black curly hair and his beautiful deep blue eyes he adored so much. But now, it was too late.

_"Please. Will you do this for me?"_

John took the knife now. He had prepared himself for this day. Everyone including Molly, Mrs. Hudson, and Lestrade and surprisingly Mycroft were aware that this situation could happen but John kept lying to them. How could he tell how depressed he felt since Sherlock has left him?

_"This phone call, it’s my note. That's what people do, isn't it? Leave a note"._

He took the knife to his skin now and skinned it deeply. He felt relief when he saw the blood running down his arm, giving a dark red colour to the water melting with his tears. The end was coming. His end.

He felt more and more dizzy. The water was getting more and more dark. It was like slowly falling asleep. He heard Sherlock's last sentence. He wanted his last word to be his name because he was going back him. He was back to the love of his life. The one hadn't had the chance to help. He wanted to be with him forever and if it couldn't be earth, it'd be somewhere else then. He was ready. He had always been. For him and only him.

_"Good bye John"._

-Sherlock…

**Author's Note:**

> I first would like to thank you for reading it. I also apologise for the English but it's not my native language and I hope my writing will get better ! I'm fine with critics as long as it'll help me to enhance it :)  
> I also specially want to thank Sara and Maureen who gave me self esteem for writing it. I also want to thank Abs who corrected it (finally). And all people that have read it and gave their opinions.


End file.
